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lambpost:

but why do I have a midlife crisis every three months

Anonymous: tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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gay8:

gay8:

gay8:

my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.

i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed

this post is one of my best by a landslide